LiViNg DeAd GiRL

I don't need another rainy night...

2006-07-07T08:05:00.000+08:00

i think i need to do something other than work.
work has taken me away from everything, or taken everything away from me.
what to do?what to do?
i think i need to put on weight..i'm too skinny..
clothes don't look good on me no more.
i think i need more shoes!heels!sneakers!
shopping anybody?
i think gayle should win singapore idol.
i think italy is going to win the cup!
bet anyone?
i think no guy is gonna marry me cos i insist that marcus MUst be the bestman!
i think i'm gonna be a skinny old spinster with lots of shoes still working at 1nitestand in 2050.
i think this post is fulla shit and i'm sorry that u had to read it.
bah!..i need sleep!!...
i think, i think to much without knowing anything at all..
i'm sorry all the previous posts have been songs..
it just comes in useful when i'm too tired too type or just lazy.
somebody save me from myself.

P.S-Hurry back chao recruit..i miss you..
i can't wait to see ur hair, or head ..

valium?

2006-06-23T17:41:00.000+08:00

You took you coat off, and stood in the rain.
you're always crazy like that.
I watched from my window , always felt i was outside looking in.
You were always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair
you were fashionably sensitive but too cool to care.
You stood in my doorway, you got nothing to say besides some comment on the weather.

well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see.
this is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees.
And these foolish games are tearing me apart.
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.
Breaking my heart...

You're always brilliant in the morning
you're smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee.
Your philosophies on art, Barouque moved you, you loved mozart.
And you speak of your loved ones, as i clumsily strum my guitar.

Well excuse me, cause i've mistaken you for somebody else.
somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself.
And these foolish games are tearing me, tearing me, tearing me apart.
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart...
you're breaking my heart...

you took your coat off and stood in the rain,
you're always crazy like that...

Goodbye my lover.

2006-06-02T18:07:00.000+08:00

Did i diappoint you or let you down?
should i be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
cause i saw the end before we'd begun,
yes i saw u were blinded and i knew i had won.
So i took whats mine by eternal right.
yook your soul out into the night.
it may be over but it won't stop there,
i am here for you if you'd only care.
you touched my heart,you touched my soul.
you changed my life and all my goals.
and love is blind, and that i knew when,
my heart was blinded by you.
i've kissed your lips and held your head.
shared your dreams and shared your bed.
i know you well, i know your smell.
i've been addicted to you.

goodbye my lover,
goodbye my friend,
you have been the one,
you have been the one for me.

i am a dreamer but when i wake,
you can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
and as u move on, remember me.
remember us and all we used to be.
i;ve seen you cry, i've seen you smile.
i've watched you sleeping for a while.
i'd be the father of your child.
i'd spend a lifetime with you.
i know your fears and you know mine.
we've had our doubts but now we're fine.
and i love you,i swear dats true.
i cannot live without you.

and i still hold your hand in mine.
in mine when i'm asleep.
and i will bear my soul in time,
when i;m kneeling at your feet.

goodye my lover,
goodbye my friend.
you have been the one.
you have been the one for me.

For the Tiger in me...

2006-04-30T00:24:00.000+08:00

You are brave,honest and decisive.But you're also easily depressed,tactless and ARGUMENTATIVE. In 2006, you need to eb flexible. You had this advise last year and if you took it,you'll know it's the only way to go. Your life is in a state of flux.

At work you're advised not to go it alone - working with a partner or group of cooleagues will bring much better results. A career opportunity presented itself last november, but u may not haev taken it. As 2006 arrives, you'll know why this was a good move to make. Stickign to what you know best at work means rewards and recognition, so don't give up,no matetr how tough it gets. YOu're a sociable sort and destined to make a new bunch of friends this year. from this new group, you may meet a lover. If you're been lonely lately, this is even more likele. Expect a complete turnaround with regards to your love life. If you're single at the start of the year, you won't be by the end of it. If you're involved in a relationship, you could be involved in a different one by january 2007. Whatever happens, you certainly won't forget this year.

Focus, work hard and be true to yourself, this year will be profitable and rewarding.Enjoy it.

And for my little PIGLET..

You are peace-loving(rubbish),entertaining and popular. but you're also gullible, pig-headed and greedy. In 2006, you set out as usual, with a huge list of resolutions and many things u must do. IN THE PAST, YOU'VE MANAGED TO ACHEIVE EVERYTHING, BUT THIS YEARS GOING TO BE DIFFERENT.instead of seeing projects to their final conclusion, the year of the dog encourages you to start but not necessarily finish.

At work, you may decide to improve on your skills - you could even go on a course to learn more about your job. in your personal life, you become LESS impatient. YOU'RE LEARING THAT RUSHING YOUR LOVED ONES - ESPECIALLY THE PERSON YOU SPEND MOST OF YOUR TIME WITH - DOESN'T REALLY GET YOU ANYWHERE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO CONTROL EVERYTHING AND ALL THE STUFF YOU WANT TO HAPPEN DOESN'T HAVE TO HAPPEN BY A CERTAIN DATE. OPERATING LIKE THAT WILL ONLY MAKE YOU DISAPPOINTED AND IRRITATING O THOSE WHO CAN'T KEEP UP.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, YOU'RE DESTINED TO HAVE FUN IN 2006. learning enables you to be more patient with others and stops you BEATING YOURSELF UP EVERY 5 MINUTES WHEN U FAIL TO LIVE UP TO YOUR OWN EXPECTATIONS. Enjoy it - you may not haev another year like it for another 12 years. The next year of the dog is 2018.

asphyxiation

2006-04-30T00:00:00.000+08:00

-i'm too tired to phrase sentences...
-or be relevant..
-so this whole entry will be in point form.

-i'm in KL.
-this condo is wicked,it's like a bachelor pad.
-fully air-conditioned,fridge is stocked up,water is hot,alcohol aplenty.
-1st day..spent the whole first day of the trip travelling from s'pore to KL..
-left the house at 6am,reached woodlands int...waited fer family till6.45am,boarded bus,travelled all the way to JB..(this whole time arguing with Mr.I-have-a-horrible-GF).
-had some dimsum(JB style)..the least bit appetising.
-waited fer train in very hot, mosquito infested station.
-saw the train coming from a distance..(almost puked in my mouth)
-got on the train,decided to just go to sleep...slept fer 3 hrs..stumbled over to canteen,bought curry cup noodles.stomach started hurting almost immediately.
-yes i am a weakling when it comes to eating overseas food.God bless u guys when we're in Batam.
-went back to seat.forced myself to sleep.slept the rest of the journey.woke up when we reached KL.
-ate KFC.bLeaH.KL KFC chicken is NOT good.plus you're not allowed to mix crispy and original. now wadafak is dat??..if u order crispy it has to all be crispy and vice versa.we ordered a bucket of chicken..9 pieces ..how now??..fathermotherloads la.malaysian bastards.yes u too adek.
-then took sky bus(equivalent to our LRT,or so they claim but looks like an ol skool locomotive).
-arrived at Subang Jaya??
-took a cab. paid the cabbie extra 2 ringgit.so he'd take 5 adults n 1 baby in his cab.just 2ringgit.
thats $1.to make him break a law.malaysians.
-arrived at condo at 8 plus.drank.watched TV.slept.

-tune in tomorrow..for more exciting OTT insights to my trip........

the bitch.

2006-04-26T15:41:00.000+08:00

When i stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When i stand up for those i love they call me a bitch.
When i speak my mind, thik my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.
A BITCH means i won't compromise whats in my heart.
It means i won't compromise whats in my heart.
It means i live my life, My way.
It means i won't allow anyone else to step on me.
When i refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, im defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when i take time for myself instead of being everyone elses maid, or when i act a little selfish.
It means i have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who i truly am and won't become anyone elses idea of what they think i 'should' be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what i want and there's nothing wrong with that.
So try to stomp on me, douse my inner flame,try to squash every ounce of beauty i hold within me. You won't succeed.
And if dat makes me a bitch, so be it.
i embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

max your mot la...

2006-04-25T18:10:00.000+08:00

promoting your album is one thing dude...
but pleasing the fans is another...

GREAT friday...

2006-04-12T18:57:00.000+08:00

it's gonna be a greaT friday...i can feel it...i just hope half the people dat plan to go get sick and decide to stay home..so it won't be too crowded and we don't get irritated with all the pushing and shoving...IT"S TIESTO MAN....actually he's kinda overated...people overate him...but he's still a legend..still a fantastic DJ...still one of the best...still worth queuing up for...still worth pushing and shoving and getting stepped on...still worth it...he better make it worth it...hope he drops his classic tracks and blows us away with other new ones...i can like feel it in my veins la...the sudden urge to liquid...WAHLAUEH...i'm gonna go mad...!!!WOOOoOOOooooOoo~*!*~!*~!*~*!~*!~*........

i love me...don't you?

2006-03-29T00:36:00.000+08:00

too rude..
too disrespectful..
too 'chor lor'..
too friendly..
nail bitter..
argumentative..
tom boyish...
always working..
easily irritable..
blah blah blah...

Paranoid Android

2006-03-10T17:53:00.000+08:00

Just take my hand...
now stop thinking...

Essential Listening:
white bird - Vanessa Mae (cosmic gate remix)
Breathe me - Sia

i LOVE you...

2006-03-08T14:59:00.000+08:00

Love is patient,
Love is kind,
Love does not envy,
Love does not boast,
Love is not proud,
Love is not disgraceful,
Love does not desire it's own way,
Love is not provoked,
Love does not reckon the wrong,
Love does not rejoice at unrighteousness,
but Love rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things,
Love believes all things,
Love hopes all things,
Love endures all things...

sleepless mornin'..

2006-03-01T09:55:00.000+08:00

Here are a few reasons why guys like girls...muahahaha...i can't agree with most of it though..

1)they always smell good even if it's just shampoo.
2)Their heads always find the right spot on your shoulder.
3)How cute they look when they sleep.
4)The ease in which they fit into your arms.
5)the way they kiss you, and all of a sudden everything is rite in the world.
6)how cute they are when they eat.
7)the way they take hours to get dressed, but in the end it makes it all worth while.
8)they're always warm although it's freezing outside.
9)the way they look good no matter what they wear.
10)the way they fish for compliments even though you both know you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth.
11)How cute they are when they argue.
12)the way her hand finds yours.
13)the way they smile.
14)the way you feel when u see her name on the call ID after u just had a big fight.
15)the way she says 'lets not fight anymore' even though you know an hour later....
16)the way she kisses you when u say you love her.
17)the way she kisses when u do something nice for her.
18)actually...just the way she kisses you..
19)the way they fall into your arms when they cry.
20)the way they apologise for crying over something silly.
21)the way they hit you and expect it to hurt.
22)then the way they apologise when it does hurt.
23)the way they say i miss you.
24) they way you miss them...

25)The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..
yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know hat u would die without them...it matters not.Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world, they became everything to you. When you look them in the eyes travelling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without a trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitably consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart.It is a thing not of the mind, but of the heart.A feeling, only felt...

ChO LuV...

That time of the month...

2006-02-28T18:01:00.000+08:00

HaPpY BiRtHdAy DiNo..*~!*~!*~*!*~!*~

here's a whole entry dedicated to you...
thanks for being the wise one...
the one with the most pah face all the time..
the inspiration to all cuzzy's dance moves..
the one who always puts 1 and 1 together and comes up with the most weirdest explanations dat always somehow seem to make so much sense...
the one who has classic 'fainting spells' after he exits the toilet...hahahahahaha
the one who banged my bestfriend...*shhhh*
the one who meets my boyfriend for lunch ever so often...
the one who takes the beginning and the end of every joke...yes ..those gay jokes..
the one who would do anything for his brothers...
thanks dino...for being you...
have a great birthday...
see you in a bit my other son...
XOXOXOXOXO...

High and Dry...

2006-02-21T14:37:00.000+08:00

too often. too difficult. too trying...

sitting.waiting.wishing.
-jack johnson

e road to mandalay.. .

2006-02-17T16:35:00.000+08:00

absolutely the most beautiful song ever...

You can depend on certainty
count it out and weight it up again
you can be sure
you've reached the end
and still you don't feel

Do you know you're beautiful
do you know you're beautiful
do you know you're beautiful
you are, yes you are...

You can ignore
what you've become
take it out and see it die again
you can be here
for who's a friend
and still you don't feel

Do you know you're beautiful
do you know you're beautiful
do you know you're beautiful
you are,yes you are...

Innermost thoughts
will be understood and
you can have all you need

Do you know
You know about anything
Do you know
You know about anyone
Do you know you're beautiful
You are, yes you are...

Do you know you're beautiful
Do you know you're beautiful
Do you know you're beautiful
you are, yes you are...

Mandalay - Beautiful... GET..

comfortably numb...

2006-02-03T18:08:00.000+08:00

so so mentally, physically and emotionally drained.

can't think, feel or move...

thirteen

2006-01-14T18:40:00.000+08:00

friday the 13th...wad supposed to be my lucky day turned out to be a horrendus night...horrendus.
started the night with a fever...a reallie head throbbing one...i tried to drink it away...wasn't helping much...muahahha..oh the denial...then the drunk maryanne...cho poor thing...hope you're feeling better now babe...we'll do our table dance another day ohkay...!
then the 2 hr fight at God knows where...we're too stubborn for our own good...and we know it..
we got thru it anyhow..and we know we can...we're just,must i reallie say it again, too damned stubborn...ohkay my bad, i shouldn't have said wad i did..and i take it back..maybe we needed this..
now i know..i needed to know..things will be different now...good different..and despite wad i do or say..you're the 'specialest' ohkay...no two ways about it..

oh yea...happy birthday donnsamae..hope u had a blast...

"kiss me now"..

crush calculator?

2006-01-12T04:57:00.000+08:00

http://www.crushcalculator.com/content/love/613371237

uh-huh...you know u want to...

pause for a cause

2006-01-12T04:14:00.000+08:00

i've spent too much money...way too much....$600 in a week..and i;m upset...way too upset.. with myself that is..i can't believe i did dat..i have to be more conscious with where my money goes.
i think that shall be my new years resolution...a bit late...but then again it;s never too late.. i have to stop spending unnecessarily...especially on shoes...and heels...my weakness...i ahve a soft spot fer them..and i can't effing help it..so help me God..i just blew $150 on a pair of heels..i don't regret it...but wadafak...theyre shoes...but i appreciate them..and i love my shoes...and i don't mind..i think...oh God...somebody just save me from myself pleas.e.!!! my money should be goin into more important stuff...like my phone bill which is way overdue...but no...i always find something else to do with it..dammit...i think i eat too much too...and 2 coffee's from wither starbucks or coffee bean everyday is costing me..oh and the smokerettes...a pack or so every two days...dammit..i know it..but i still can't help it..i need like a financial planner or something..or just mroe self control when it comes to shoes..talkign bout shoes...i think i shoudl get me a new pair os sneakers.!!
g'night..
xoxoxox
des.

This gonna be corsten me...

2006-01-03T15:25:00.000+08:00

Ferry corsten on x'mas day...blew me away...once again...oh but this time..i shook his hand...muahhahhahaha....i danced too much...way too much...lost all the salts in my body..!!
hahahahah.....effing funny...oh well...was for a good cause...i think...
thanks to tian a.k.a daphne...for EVERYTHING...would have died i think...

anyhow...2006....
feels the same..
i was effing workin on new years eve....so depressing...
counted down with drunk white people and asian sluts...bah...
oh and my colleagues..only consolation i guess...
clean up was a major bitch...took 4 friggin hours...got home at 9 in the mornin and had to wake up at 5 the same day to go back to work..
a big thank you..to santino,chris marcus and dino fer waiting fer me...reallie guys..
you shouldn't have ...thanks anyhoo...

oh and my family except stinks are goin to some chinese land on the 9th til the 13th..
take care people ..please...go shopping fer me, mei...

i'll be off from today till thurs ..so people if i've been neglecting you guys..i'm sorry...we'll try and meet up yea...
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE>.!!~!~!~!~!*~!*~!*~!

love des,
xoxoxoxo

bang bang my baby shot me down

2005-12-21T13:18:00.000+08:00

you know you did..and i seriously still dunno why you didn't wanna tell me..i can't understand that..i guess i never will...u have your reasons...i still forgive you..i always will...and i will still continue to care for you...even if you stop...fak me for being stupid..but thats just the way it's gonna be..

on a lighter note...effing pah man...
too many shots...thanks ah li-ann...seriously...but revenge is sweet la...
i dunno why i came home though...had too much coffee ...can't friggin sleep...o well..got work tom anyhow...and then prolly back to the chalet...!!!muahahahaha..!!!!!!!!! 7-up..uh-huh..u heard me neygah!!,...

for my knight in shining armour...

If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
Still my heart this moment
Or it might burst
Could we stay right here
Until the end of time until the earth stops turning
Wanna love you until the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for

All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
Wanna stay right here
Until the end of time
'Til the earth stops turning
Gonna love you until the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for

The one I've waited for

All I've known
All I've done
All I've felt was leading to this
All I've known
All I've done
All I've felt was leading to this
Wanna stay right here
'Til the end of time 'till the earth stops turning
I'm gonna love you till the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for
The one I've waited for
The one I've waited for

Wanna stay right here
'Til the end of time 'till the earth stops turning
I'm gonna love you till the seas run dry
I've found the one I've waited for
The one I've waited for
The one I've waited for

you tell me say dat...

2005-12-20T19:18:00.000+08:00

I LOVE YOU ANNA-BOO...!!!

A POST JUST FOR YOU..IN YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR...

trouble on vinyl...

2005-12-15T16:06:00.000+08:00

it's only my second entry..and already i'm kinda sick of blogging...bah...
well here are more 'ramblings of an enchantress'...quote unquote..
life's still pretty much the same...still workin my ass off...stopped goin to school though...fer the time being dat is...on self proclaimed holiday...AGAIN...muahahaha....i haev no effing self control..
heh...christmas is coming but i still don't feel christmas-ey...it was like dat the last year as well..christmas is beginning to loose it's feel...but then again i say dat all the time...but when christmas comes...it's all good again...it all boils down to the company i guess...being around the people i love makes me feel good...and i love my people...rite people..!??!
time fer personal messages..

anyhoo...tessa girl...i reallie had fun dat night...although we did almost nothin and no money was spent...nutella and peanut butter sandwiches..chicken and chilli...wine and ciggies...music and our bitching...it was great babe....til next month...muhahahaha..can't wait...

mikey...i don't wanna play you out all the time ohkay...i've been reallie busy...and when i say i'll get pataya with you..i will...just hurry your ass back..and don't worry bout anything else...and you say I disappear all the time...NEH!...

adek...i miss you like siao la...please hurry back home to me..!!!...seriously man..and stop goin overseas already...irritating...oh and my mafia boss account got frozen...why aye..??i think they need some ass whooping la..wad say you..??

BSAKL... RESPECT.

handsome...everything's god so far..and i hope you're not making a mistake you're gonna regret later..i just want you to be happy...i miss you...please go to school...6 days left...don't screw it up..or i''ll smash you..PUNISHMENT!!.....P.S(kiss me now!)

and here's to our last ultimate time...as richie so aptly puts it..'GO HARD OR GO HOME'...
DJ drop it like it's hott...

have a good trip..
XOXOXOXO
des.

And so it begins...

2005-10-26T17:06:00.000+08:00

I've decided to start blogging again.i do not have reasons, cos i don't need to have any.
And i don't wanna get rid of the other blog, cos i like it...i can't throw away stuff. i get attached to stuff really fast ...yes, ive got issues....

so anyhow, life has been really different from when i last blogged...so many things have happened..so many things have changed.. but i guess dats life with des, always something new..
i love my life now...i'm so busy, always running around...started work a while ago, at 1nightstand!..loving it...10bucks an hour..work like 12 to 15 hours a day...crazy stuff...i'm always so tired now...dunno where all this energy is coming from...EEeEEee....roite...only few would understand...
anyhow, i've taken myself out of the choir..before Ling could kick me out..hah...i want to give our friendship a break...my irresponsible ways towards the choir have taken a serious toll on our friendship..and i've only got myself to blame...Ling if u do read this..i'm really sorry...and it wasn't intentional..i'll be back with my sister, after her o's...and this is the last chance i'm giving myself...hahah..man....i'm crazy.....
SOMEBODY REALLY NEEDS TO SAVE ME FROM MYSELF..!!LIKE NOW..!!

yep..ohkay sorry...little crazy outbursts...
so anyways..this is my new blog from now on..fer those of you who still check the other one...ferget that..it's here now...i'll make an effort to blog every few days...and this is a warning in advance...please beware of all emo posts....
o yes, on a lighter note....marcus boy and i were reallie bored yesterday...we were chilling in his room with santino, listening to the radio...and then the Dj announced some thing..where u call in and when they pick up, you must shout 'hi,i'm bat man'..and someone else must say'hi,i'm robin'..and if you're the 42nd caller..you win like some batman shit.....
so me and marcus started calling...and calling and calling...and suddenly...it started ringing..i panicked and passed the phone to marc..hahahaha....the DJ answered and marcus was like ..."hello?..i'm bat man.!!.'...and tino said..'hi, i'm robin'....hahahahaha.....and the Dj was like..'congratulations,you're caller no.42!!!'......hahahahahaha....shiok..and just like dat..we won bat man goodies...hahahahahaha....super funny...you have to be there to understand..!!

o yes..my partay's tom...so exciting...i just hope everyone will turn up...i don't wanna be sitting in the club all by my lonesome self..waiting in vain fer people to appear...man....so people..!!!...you better come...and we're gonna have fanfarkintastic time....kevy and mikey...reallie wish u guys were here..!!o well....nvm , we'll partay when u guys get back yea..show u some s'porean hospitality..!!hah..!!..
ohkay guys ...til tom or sumthing...
please take care o you.!!